1/12th of the way

January flew by in a haze of travel, sinus pain and snow.  Our first blizzard in decades kept me in place much longer than I really like to stay still.  But when your head whirls after movement, or even just conversation, staying put became order number one.

I envisioned taking root in our new home and nearly new city this year.  In fact Root(ed) is my word and work in 2016.  But thirty one days in, I know I didn’t put 2015 completely to rest the way you would put a garden for winter.   I refused to sweep away the loose thoughts, old distractions and emotions that no longer suit and so there’s a tangled mess above the surface.  I can only hope there’s some Secret Garden work going on that will stun as the growing season approaches.

Looking at the bounty of snow covered photos I took in the last week, I keep returning to the view outside my office window of the dormers across the way.

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When the storm set in you could barely tell the sky from the roof line.  Pretty much the way I allowed the old year to blur into the new.

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As the storm cleared, the colors turned brilliant.  The delicious possibilities under that achingly blue sky tempted me to ignore the blurred tangle underfoot and grab onto something new.  A something, I’ve learned from experience, that would ultimately land in an unclear space and add to the tangle.

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The view today as the work of uncovering what’s underneath continues drip by drip by drip.  I’m sure I know what lies in that tangle of emotions but until I allow things to move — to drip away — I won’t be certain.

So this 31st day of the year will be one of clearing.  I have blank pages to fill with thoughts.  No order, just grabbing that first exposed emotional branch and seeing how easily it slips free.  No judgment, no finding fault, just opening up space in order to see what takes root.